But OCD is never satisfied—it’s never enough. No matter how many times you check, analyze, or seek reassurance, it always comes back with, “But what if you missed something?”
The truth is, life doesn’t come with guarantees. Every choice we make carries some level of risk. Uncertainty is a natural part of being human, and learning to embrace it can be one of the most liberating steps in managing OCD and anxiety.
The Endless Cycle of Doubt
With OCD, when one fear fades, another quickly takes its place, trapping you in a relentless loop of doubt. Imagine locking the door before leaving your house. For a little while, you feel calm. But then OCD whispers, “Did you check carefully enough? What if the lock is faulty? What if someone still finds a way in?” Suddenly, the anxiety feels too intense to ignore.
Because you can’t ignore the “risk,” you might develop protective strategies—checking the lock multiple times or performing rituals to feel safe. These actions provide temporary relief, but it doesn’t last. The doubts return, louder and more persistent, pulling you deeper into the cycle.
Risk is a Part of Life
Risk is unavoidable—whether we acknowledge it or not. Consider everyday activities like driving a car or walking down a street lined with tall buildings. Every time we get behind the wheel, there’s a chance—however small—that we might get into an accident. Or, in a more obscure example, every time we walk down the street in a busy city, there’s a minuscule possibility that a window air conditioning unit could fall from above and strike us.
While these risks exist, we accept them without much thought because they don’t outweigh the importance of what we want to do—whether it’s going to work, spending time with loved ones, or simply running errands. We prioritize what matters to us over the tiny, unlikely risks.
OCD and the Illusion of Control
OCD, however, wants you to believe that any risk is unacceptable. It doesn’t seek to resolve your fears—it thrives on keeping you stuck in an endless loop of planning, protecting, and mitigating risk. Each time you give in to a compulsion, you reinforce the belief that doubt is dangerous and the risk must be eliminated.
It’s like feeding pigeons—each time you toss them breadcrumbs, more come flocking, demanding more. The more you try to reassure yourself, the stronger OCD becomes, teaching your brain that uncertainty is a threat that requires constant action.
Breaking Free: Learning to Sit with Uncertainty
Breaking this cycle means learning to sit with discomfort rather than trying to “solve” it. Instead of attempting to silence the doubt, you practice accepting it. Here’s how:
Acknowledge the Thought
When an intrusive thought arises, notice it without reacting. Instead of spiraling, try saying, “I’m having the thought that I might not have locked the door.” This creates distance between you and the thought, making it feel less overwhelming.
Resist the Urge to Seek Certainty
Rather than checking or asking for reassurance, sit with the discomfort. Tell yourself, “It’s okay not to know for sure.” Like leaving an itch unscratched, it’s uncomfortable at first, but the urge eventually fades.
Make Choices Independent of Your Mood
Commit to actions that align with your values, even when anxiety or doubt is present. If you value spending time with friends but feel anxious about leaving the house, acknowledge the discomfort and go anyway. Shift from thinking, “I wanted to go, but I felt too anxious,” to “I can feel anxious and still choose to do what matters to me.”
By doing this, you prioritize what’s meaningful over temporary emotions, empowering yourself to live more fully.
Redirect Your Attention
Focus on something meaningful, even if doubt lingers in the background. Dive into work, enjoy a conversation, or engage in a hobby. By doing so, you show OCD that its demands don’t control your life.
The Storm Will Pass
Of course, this isn’t easy. Your mind will insist that the stakes are too high, and your anxiety may spike when you resist compulsions. It’s like standing in a storm without an umbrella—you feel exposed and vulnerable. But over time, the storm weakens, the rain lessens, and you realize you can weather it without needing to take cover.
Each time you sit with uncertainty, you teach your brain that doubt can be managed and no action is needed.
Freedom Through Acceptance
Accepting uncertainty doesn’t mean ignoring your fears or giving up control of your life. It means acknowledging your fears without letting them dictate your actions. Instead of being imprisoned by the relentless pursuit of certainty, you can choose to live fully—even with doubt.
