Living with OCD can feel like being trapped in a storm, with intrusive thoughts, uncomfortable emotions, and compulsions crashing over you like relentless waves. The reality is that we don’t control the weather in this storm. We don’t get to decide when intrusive thoughts pop up, what they’re about, or how OCD tries to push us around with “must-dos” and “what-ifs.”
But there is something we can control: how we respond. And that choice—how we act in the face of OCD’s demands—is where our power lies.
The Power of Choosing Values
Think of your values as your guiding compass. They are the principles that shape the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to live. Unlike emotions, which shift like the weather, values are steady and unshakable. They remain meaningful regardless of external circumstances or societal pressures.
Imagine being the last person on Earth. How would you still honor your values?
- If you value caring, you might be mindful of nature—choosing not to destroy animal habitats or litter, even though no one is watching.
- If creativity is important to you, you might paint, write, or build something beautiful—not for recognition, but because it brings you joy.
Values aren’t about pleasing others or avoiding discomfort; they’re about aligning with what truly matters to you.
Values as a Compass in OCD’s Storm
OCD has a way of targeting what you care about most. It plays a cruel trick, zeroing in on your deepest values to create doubt and distress. These thoughts often feel ego-dystonic—completely out of sync with who you are.
For example:
- Someone who values kindness might have intrusive thoughts about harming others.
- A person who values honesty might fear they’ve lied without realizing it.
- Someone who values responsibility might obsess over whether they’ve unintentionally caused harm.
These thoughts feel distressing because they strike at the core of what matters most to you. But here’s the truth: these thoughts are not who you are.
They’re just noise—static on the radio of your mind. What defines you isn’t the intrusive thoughts you experience, but the actions you choose to take.
Choosing Actions That Align With Your Values
Your values act like a compass, guiding you even when the storm of OCD feels overwhelming. Here’s what choosing values over OCD might look like in real life:
- Parenting with Love: OCD tells you not to hug your child because you might harm them. Acting out of fear means avoiding your child. Acting in alignment with your values—choosing connection and love—means giving them that hug, even if it feels uncomfortable.
- Prioritizing Relationships: OCD tells you to leave dinner early to check if you unplugged your hair straightener. Leaving might calm your anxiety temporarily, but staying aligns with your value of spending quality time with loved ones.
- Living with Integrity: OCD convinces you that you said something inappropriate in a meeting, making you want to replay every word you said to “make sure.” But trusting yourself and choosing to move forward aligns with your value of self-trust and integrity.
Living a Values-Driven Life
A values-driven life doesn’t mean waiting until you feel comfortable or fearless. It means taking action in alignment with your values, even when it’s uncomfortable. Each time you choose values over fear, you reclaim a piece of your life from OCD.
Each time you choose values over OCD, you’re taking a step toward freedom. You’re saying, “I’m more than my intrusive thoughts. I’m more than my fears.” And with every small act of defiance against OCD, you’re building a life that reflects who you truly are.
OCD may create the storm, but your values are the lighthouse, guiding you as you navigate whatever you come across.
The choice is yours:
Will you follow OCD’s false alarms, or will you steer your life toward what truly matters?
