This makes OCD particularly deceptive. Unlike an obviously unrealistic fear (like worrying that you’ll spontaneously turn into a fish), OCD fixates on areas of life where doubt feels dangerous. It takes an everyday concern and amplifies it until it feels urgent and catastrophic.
This leads many people with OCD to think:
“But this isn’t just an intrusive thought—this actually happened!” or
“I’m not overthinking; this is a real issue.”
So why does OCD do this? And how do we stop it from taking over?
Why OCD Latches onto What We Value Most
OCD isn’t random. It doesn’t pick just any thought and turn it into an obsession—it picks the things that matter to you the most.
- If you deeply value being a kind and loving person, OCD might make you obsess over: “What if I said something offensive?” or “What if I hurt someone and didn’t realize it?”
- If you value your relationship, OCD might make you fixate on: “What if I don’t love my partner enough?” or “What if I made the wrong choice?”
- If you care about your health, OCD might make you spiral into: “What if this symptom is something serious?” or “What if the doctor missed something?”
This is why OCD can feel so personal—it targets your core values and distorts them into an obsession.
Why This Feels So Urgent
When OCD latches onto something important, it makes you feel like you have to solve the problem immediately. It creates a false sense of urgency, making it seem like if you don’t figure it out right now, something terrible will happen.
But here’s the trap: There’s no “right answer” that will make the doubt go away permanently.
The more you try to get certainty—whether it’s through checking, researching, or seeking reassurance—the more OCD demands. It’s like trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it.
The Benefit of Accepting Risk (and How We Already Do It Every Day)
One of the biggest breakthroughs in OCD treatment is recognizing that certainty is impossible. We cannot eliminate all risks—and we don’t have to.
We Accept Risk All the Time Without Noticing
Think about your daily life. Every single thing you do carries some amount of risk, but you don’t obsess over it.
- When you drive a car, there’s a risk of an accident. But you accept that risk because avoiding all cars would make life impossible.
- When you eat at a restaurant, there’s a risk of food poisoning. But you trust the restaurant and eat without overanalyzing.
- When you go to sleep at night, there’s a risk of an emergency happening while you’re unaware. But you sleep anyway because the alternative—never sleeping—isn’t realistic.
OCD Tricks You Into Thinking “This Risk is Different”
OCD convinces you that this particular thought, fear, or risk is special—that this time, you must get certainty.
- “Sure, other people don’t check their emails 10 times, but I need to because my career depends on it.”
- “Sure, people accept uncertainty in relationships, but I need to be sure I’m making the right choice.”
- “Sure, people trust doctors, but I have to keep researching just in case they missed something.”
OCD overestimates the danger while underestimating your ability to handle uncertainty.
How to Rewire Your Brain to Accept Uncertainty
Breaking free from OCD’s grip means learning to live with uncertainty—just like we already do in every other area of life.
1. Recognize the Thought Pattern
Ask yourself: “Is this an actual problem I need to solve, or is this OCD demanding certainty?”
- Real concerns lead to logical actions (fixing a mistake, making a doctor’s appointment, having a conversation).
- OCD concerns lead to compulsions (checking, Googling, overanalyzing, seeking reassurance).
2. Resist the Compulsion to “Solve” the Thought
This is where ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy comes in. When OCD tells you to check, research, or ruminate—don’t.
Instead of trying to get rid of the uncertainty, sit with it.
- “Maybe I made a mistake in that email.”
- “Maybe my doctor missed something.”
- “Maybe I’ll never know for sure if this relationship is perfect.”
At first, this will feel uncomfortable. Your brain will demand certainty. But over time, the discomfort will fade—not because you found the answer, but because your brain learned to stop treating uncertainty as an emergency.
3. Accept That Doubt is a Normal Part of Life
The truth is, everyone experiences doubt. The difference is that people without OCD don’t try to eliminate all doubt—they live with it.
- They send the email without re-reading it five times.
- They trust their relationship without needing absolute certainty.
- They go to the doctor once and accept the diagnosis.
OCD tells you that you can’t handle doubt—but you can. And the moment you stop fighting for certainty, OCD loses its power.
What Happens When You Start Accepting Uncertainty?
At first, it will feel uncomfortable—but discomfort is temporary.
Think of uncertainty like an itch. If you always scratch it, the urge to scratch gets stronger. But if you let it be, it fades on its own.
This is what happens when you stop giving into OCD’s demands. Over time, your brain stops seeing uncertainty as a threat, and the compulsions lose their grip.
Here’s what life starts to look like when you accept risk:
- You send emails without checking them multiple times.
- You go to the doctor once and trust their expertise.
- You allow doubts about your relationship without needing reassurance.
- You let intrusive thoughts pass without engaging with them.
The more you embrace uncertainty, the less control OCD has over you.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need Certainty to Live a Full Life
OCD’s biggest lie is that if you just think hard enough, check enough, or research enough, you’ll finally feel safe. But certainty never comes.
Instead, the real freedom is in learning to say:
- “I don’t need to be 100% sure to move forward.”
- “I can handle uncertainty.”
- “Doubt doesn’t mean danger.”
You already accept uncertainty in so many areas of your life. The moment you stop treating this fear as special, OCD starts losing its grip. If OCD is latching onto real-life worries, you’re not alone. With ERP therapy and the right strategies, you can break free from the cycle of doubt and start living fully again.
